What do I need, truly, when I drop ideas of what my habitually orientated self or others think?
In deciding which way to go with the choice/situation I face, will it bring me clarity or will it overload my proverbial plate?
Is this going to help, bring joy, space and relief; or is it going to end up troubling me?
What's driving this decision, the grasping mind or the open heart?
How do I feel in my body as I contemplate my options?
Is there tightness here, excitement, pressure, intensity, lethargy, exhaustion?
What do I need more or less of?
These are the questions I've been asking myself lately with regards to a few decisions I've had to make, from the small and daily choices to bigger and multi-impactful ones. Asking and inquiring helps me to figure out what is right and true from an inner sense rather than based on an external or conditioned/assumed view.
My process in contemplating my options involves writing it out. I find this to be like digestion - while I can sit and mull the inquiry over in my mind, if I don't release the thoughts and feelings onto the page, they sit inside of me like rotting compost. That in itself has its uses, but only when the nutrition has been extracted and the waste released, is the digestion complete.
When I write, so much that comes out is garbage. And that's part of the process. A little glimmer or two of sense emerges from the sifting, by emptying out the waste matter the sense is easier to see. Physically speaking, when I am free of the mental constipation that comes from unprocessed mindheart matter, I feel lighter, freer, unburdened, clearer and more able to move on. Until the next time I need to pause and consider, what next, what now? And so it goes on; feeling, thinking processing digesting, releasing.